my life

2007-10-16T09:02:00.000+08:00

lol.. it's been ages since i actually blogged.

updates? well, i have been back in school about 1 month ago, n nothing really special has happened...

except recently, i've been kinda caught up with watching korean dramas ( influenced by my grandma )... haha.. n 1 particular show really caught my attention.

My Girl, not sure if any of u have actually watched it, is about this poor but intelligent girl who spent her whole lifetime running from place to place, country to country from her father's debtors. That is, until she met this rich but arrogant guy ( young boss of a huge hotel ) by coincidence, or should i say, Fate. The story moves on as the guy's grandpa, being terribly ill, has an unfulfilled wish -- to find his long-lost granddaughter. The guy then had no choice but to get this girl to pose as his granddaughter. What started as a simple white lie then turned into an awful lot of complicated events, with the appearance of the guy's ex-girlfriend and his best friend, who fell for the ''granddaughter''. As a result, as anyone of u can guess, the lead actor and actress both fell in love with each other... (no creativity!) haha.. However, the two then had a huge dilemma of turning the whole family upside down with the truth or to break up. (lotsa tears) But as with all korean drama serials, there is a happy ending, only for the two of them and the family of course..

Guess who i liked most in the show? The rich young boss of the hotel?

NO.

I liked the best friend who sacrificed so much and gave his all for the girl. He was previously a playboy who had uncountable girlfriends in different western countries, until he met her, whom he fell in love at first sight for. He was always willing to help her whenever he could and listen to her pour her woes. If i were the girl, i'll definitely choose him instead of the rich young boss!

LoL. I think i'm far too engrossed in this show le. ^ ^

2007-10-01T15:25:00.001+08:00

2007-08-01T13:16:00.000+08:00

haha..can't believe i said so much to him...
now i realise that experiences do make u grow mature...so much so that u can even give advice to others of the same fate.

"dun be so persistent, so much so that u would do anything for her she might take u for granted
u know,
it's a blessing to meet someone u love.
when loving someone, it doesn't matter if she loves u back.
what matters most is that she is happy
cuz when she's happy, u're happy...regardless of whether she is with another guy or not
[well, then in this practical society, those who go for it n dun get it will have to find creative ways to attempt suicide isit?]
u know, if due to ur persistence, end up u unhappy, she unhappy, then what's the point?
i'm just trying to tell u to go easy..since she still can't forget that guy, give her time.
if she avoids u, it may mean that to her, u're pushing her to hard
then u shdn't be sad the moment she starts avoiding u"

dun worry my fren, if u see this..
no one will know who i'm talking about..rest assured i'll keep ur secret safe~
hope that u will take gd care of urself and let things go naturally.

2007-07-30T09:50:00.000+08:00

We’re soarin’, flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
So we’re breaking free
You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are
Creating space between us
‘Til we’re separate hearts
But your faith it gives me strength
Strength to believe

Chorus #1
We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah, we’re breaking free
Oh, we’re breakin’ free
Ohhhh

Can you feel it building
Like a wave the ocean just can’t control
Connected by a feeling
Ohhh, in our very souls
Rising ‘til it lifts us up
So every one can see

Chorus #2
We’re breakin’ free
We’re soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free

Ohhhh
Runnin’
Climbin’
To get to that place
To be all that we can be
Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
We’re breaking free
Ohhh , yeah

More than hope
More than faith

This is true
This is fate

And together
We see it comin’

More than you
More than me

Not a want, but a need

Both of us breakin’ free

Chorus #3
Soarin’
Flyin’
There’s not a star in heaven
That we can’t reach
If we’re trying
Yeah we’re breaking free
Breaking free

We're runnin’
Ohhhh, climbin’
To get to the place
To be all that we can be

Now’s the time
Now’s the time
So we’re breaking free
Ohhh, we’re breaking free

Ohhhh

You know the world can see us
In a way that’s different than who we are

2007-07-27T11:22:00.000+08:00

ahhh... raining so heavily!!!

weird leh.. now only july, and its already raining everyday as if it's winter..oops, i mean december...

should i go for the august poa classes?

i really hope to start lessons early..but i would be the only yr 2 in the yr 1 class...

so weird laR..hmmm...so shd i join that class?

called up ikoma lang school to ask about the Jap class today.. but the lady told me the classes are already full.. haiz..

still have to go out to buy lunch later.. but look at the rain! how am i gonna go out later? i'll be drenched even before i step out of the block!

mayb i'll call for mac delivery.. haha~

talked to tazy on msn last wed, n he was listening as i poured out my troubles...he told me not to waste time thinking about all these stuff as it was rather meaningless..

sighz~ if only he knew...

hahax..my hands so busy..need to type n cover my ears at the same time~ the thunder is roaring..n i'm just next to the window....

2007-07-19T11:02:00.000+08:00

yesterday i went back to school for the poa workshop! most of u won't be able to imagine how happy i was to go back to sch laR... after working for 1 n a half mths, i just felt that studying was the best. so i was super high yesterday... behaving like a mad woman.. hahA~

Happy Birthday Desmond!
well, i think i've written everything i wanted to say in that card le.. but i guess i still hav lots that i can't really express in words..
anyway, really hope we can be good friends forever!

i think i really screwed up big time at work laR... dunno wad to say le.. but i think those responsibilities are just to heavy for me to bear..mayb i shouldn't hav joined that company in the first place...though i hav benefitted alot from it, it definitely didn't benefit from me! now i can just pray hard that they don't get complained because of me.

2007-06-28T09:36:00.000+08:00

hey guys~
guess i've been lost for quite long yaR?
well, i'm on leave today due to being sick... so decided to update my blog since i haven't done so in ages.. since i started work.

work's rather stressful.. got a boss who's not so friendly.. but actually she's quite ok laR... can understand her stress, that's why i'm not so upset with her now.
my colleagues are all super nice to me, especially my bro, who takes very good care of me. also not to forget my ex senior from jj n soon-to-be uni junior, des.. who also helps me alot in many things and situations.. as well as kl n sya, who are my buddies at work! they are all temp staff as well... working here is so much more fun than my previous workplace last year, where the only temp staff is ME. though the workload here is so much heavier and lotsa pple keep calling in to scold us, i feel that i've learnt so much here. though i still wanna whack jx if i see him one day, i would also wanna thank him for recommending me for this job.. cuz i really learn alot from pple here. if i didn't get this job at that time, i would probably not get to know my bro, des, kl, sya n so many other great pple whom i treasure so much. thanks guys, for being such great friends! still wondering if i wanna continue working here until end august, cuz many of them would have left for uni by then.. that would probably depend on whether i am able to do a better job in handling call enquiries in the near future, cuz if i can do it, i guess i will probably stay on to help my boss... think i'll just have to wait and see..

so many things happened lately, went for dinner twice with siya and jason.. as well as a dimsum treat by lemon at her house... bro told me that most probably pp knows that i like him.. but there's nothing i can do wad.. haha... just let it be loR~ but i told bro i decided to let go le... though it's gonna be super difficult, but i guess i'm just too tired to hang on to wad doesn't belong to me. so from now on, my dear friends, do me a favour, dun mention pp or anything that is related to him in front of me yaR? thanks alot...

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh so right?
What would you say, if I called on you now
Saying that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone... I'll be gone
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can’t be too late, I know I was so wrong
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Just love this song so much. Air supply- all out of love. mayb i chose the wrong song to like, just like i chose the wrong person to love.

2007-06-03T19:03:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ER-JIE!!!

my cupcakes turned out quite a disaster...though everything went out well in the beginning...

i forgot to add chocolate chips to the cakes.

*sigh*

n i actually did most of the process by myself...of course with hui n juan n ting helping me here n there laR... wad a waste!

in fact, it tasted even worse than the ones i made on thurs!

well...wad can i say?

wy's baking skills are much BETTER than mine!

haha...

sorry arH, er-jie...for the un-tasty cupcakes.

n they don't look yummy either.

wad a failure.

2007-05-31T14:44:00.000+08:00

starting my temp job soon...in bugis..

will be working very near him....

near yet far.

can't even ask him out for lunch though we're working so damn near each other.. otherwise he'll find out...

too bad. so sad.

2007-05-31T14:40:00.000+08:00

in juan's house now...

hmmm...wad can i say? her com is beautiful...haha.. complete with a wide screen!

so nice... just saw siongsiong's blog...

so envy u leh sheepy... he's always so sweet to u.. if only pp treats me that way... haha

COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE.

2007-05-30T11:02:00.000+08:00

hehe..

had a great time enjoying life since i finished my exams last week thurs..

went for a meal at NYDC after my PBF paper..

watched spidey 3 with thengtheng, joycelyn, linda n siongsiong at vivo on fri..

ate to my heart's content at bugis steamboat on sat..

went for a job interview on mon...n got the job..

watched pirates on tues with ck...

consecutive outings... must enjoy while i still can mah... mon starting work le.. by then will be super busy, i expect..

2007-05-29T09:01:00.000+08:00

原来我并没那么伟大, 舍不得就是舍不得, 放不下就是放不下...
原来想成全他们, 一点也不容易...

2007-04-12T23:39:00.000+08:00

wad an exciting week~
i finally told yf that i like pp.
hope the relationship between us (me n pp) will remain like this for as long as possible..
felt like leaning my head on his shoulder... but can't.. haha... guess this won't happen for quite some time within these 3 yrs..
cuz i dun intend to let him know about this.. unless he finds out somehow.

2007-03-23T10:12:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl named X. She had just completed her PSLE exams n was posted to her 5th choice school J instead of her 3rd choice school N. At first, she wanted to apply for change of schools so that she won't have to study in J. But somehow, it didn't happen. She decided to stay in J.
After spending 4 happy years in J, X finally graduated. She chose to enter a JC that she had never thought of entering. In fact, she only chose that JC because she heard ppl say that her crush would be choosing that school. How interesting.. That JC shall be named L.
Alas, when school finally started, she suddenly found out that her crush chose another school! Oh my goodness! There's nothing she could do except to try making new friends.
Soon, X started to love the school n everyone in it. She made great friends n got along very well with them. Having lots of fun, she decided that she will not change schools after the first 3 months. Then, to her pleasant surprise, she discovered that her crush also selected L for JAE. (He finally realised how difficult it was not to see X everyday.. Kidding!)
During the second orientation, X became on very close terms with a guy named R. He was very nice to her, n so they became close friends. Everyone who knows R, knows that he likes another girl, P. X is no exception. However, due to seeing each other everyday n dancing every mass dance together as dance partners, X started to realise that she had fallen for R. She then tried to pull herself out of it, even to the extent of helping R to woo P, but nothing worked.
After the first 3 months, all of them were posted to the same class. X n P even became good friends n often hang out together with a few other girls. But X still liked R.
The above is a true story.
After a few years, X finally got over R. All these happened couple of years ago.
R was from secondary school N. The one that X almost entered but didn't. One can't help but wonder.. If X had gone ahead with the change of school, they will probably end up knowing each other much earlier. But they did not.. So somehow, they still ended up in the same JC.
Everything happens for a reason.
Something that was supposed to happen, but did not happen due to certain circumstances, will still happen no matter what. It is only a matter of time.

2007-03-01T12:18:00.000+08:00

Fahrenheit RaWkS!!!

especially Chun~ yeah!!

2007-02-16T08:33:00.000+08:00

YAY!!!

finally get to meet up with my Jies after so long...

a be-early Happy Birthday to You, Da-jie!! hope u will enjoy ur 初一 more than ever gurl~

reunion dinner tonight.. yumyum.. haha

春天到来百花红
热闹的锣声响街头
红男绿女手腕手
恭喜恭喜声声送
快乐的气氛在眼中
和蔼的春天喜相逢
往事绵绵已成空
已成空
往事如梦
新的希望在心中
朝朝暮暮万年红
万事如意好前程
一年四季乐溶溶
鸿运当头乐无穷
恭祝大家万年红

祝大家新年快乐!
学业进步财源广进
万事都如意!

2007-02-14T10:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all Singles!

May all find happiness that truly belongs to them soon~

2007-02-09T10:34:00.000+08:00

i miss everyone so much!

ppl from 1/4 n 2/4:
madmad, eng, jason, wenjie, caiyan, kareen, ian, kangwei, jingboon, mengfei, amrutha, ...
ppl from 3/4 n 4/4:
ee ghim, jon, che chang, elena, weiqi, leonard, pengfei, wenting, kanchana, xiaoling, xihui, ...
ppl from JSS CO:
yen shan, qiuting, zhigang, tingfeng, earnchi, sharon, qiaolin, zhihao, junjie, ...

although the crazy fellas like ian, ee ghim, jon, che chang, leonard always tease me about kw everytime they see me, i still miss them alot..
haha unbelievable huh..
but really, i got so used to them teasing me that i even miss their nonsense!
LOL -_-
so many of them i haven seen for ages, i dun even know where some of them are now...
ppl like, jason, wenjie, kareen, ian, jingboon, amrutha, che chang, weiqi, leonard, pengfei, wenting, kanchana, xiaoling, xihui...
does anyone know what jingboon, leonard, kanchana n wenting are doing now?
haha..
All the Best for ur results, Ghim. =)

2007-02-05T15:31:00.000+08:00

DAREN WON!!!

so so so happy!!! had thought Diya would win, especially towards the end, when she sang 'zheng fu' by Na Ying.. was rather touched by her n the song..

so when i saw Daren's face on the large screen, i was SO HAPPY!! i jumped up from the sofa, raised my arms into the air n screamed!!! LOL -_-'''

scary huh.. i thought so too.. my parents must have thought i was mad.

haha.. yup i agree that Diya is good, i liked her voice since the start of the competition, but she didn't do as well towards the end of the whole competition.. so i would rather Daren win as he is consistently improving.. haha..

YES!!! Congratz Daren! Hope everything would be smooth-sailing for u!

Love Ya! LOL

2007-02-02T10:15:00.000+08:00

'say goodbye to the sad memories as i bury them underneath the wound in my heart. when my heart is finally pieced back together, the scar will make it look so much stronger. n tougher.'

i said this words on the 21st of Sept last year.

i'm still trying.

this is the most difficult-to-overcome obstacle i've ever faced in my whole life.

it's been 2 years n 5 months. since i started on this cruel journey.

when will i be able to do that?

2007-02-02T10:09:00.000+08:00

聽妳的故事笑得有些衿持
怎麼會和我那麼相似
開始結束彷彿公式
是誰說愛情就該如此
失控哭一哭就會沒事
一個堅持
究竟容得多少次的迷失
讓過程都像歌詞
不過短短幾行文字
當作紀念的心事

最初那一句台詞
填補了寂寞位子
它不關年少無知誰都高估愛的價值
平凡的女子
清醒一次一次糊塗一次一次
不過是
再見那一個手勢便明白到此為止
說穿了有些諷刺從沒把握一生一世
痛難免真實多出來的鑰匙
留給愛的堅持
下一次

2007-02-02T09:30:00.000+08:00

so fast! the first month of 2007 is over just like that..
10 more days to my first mock paper, IBM..
12 more days to V day..
16 more days to Chinese New Year..
26 more days to my second mock paper, Econs.. n the rest of my papers.
soon, the month of feb will be over too, as quickly as it arrived..

actually i had the chance to watch PSS2 Grand Finals live, but it (the chance) vanished into thin air.
disappointment is natural n definite. but must learn to accept the fact mah.. i'm just back to square one, but not worse off!

wah.. my arm muscle hurts... went to bras basah popular to collect my FREE PSS2 Photo Card Album yesterday.. but was carrying a super heavy bag n a super (full-of-notes) heavy file.. almost got lost in Raffles City so kept going in circles to find a stupid exit! LOL.. i think my body is unbalanced at the side today.. cuz i was holding the file n carrying the bag on my left arm n shoulder almost the whole time! usually i dun have lessons on thursdays, but went for an extra lecture yesterday, so had to bring lotsa notes.. so mum asked me whether i learnt much from the lecture, n i realised, yes! i did manage to understand many concepts.. so it's probably worth it.. haha =.=

2007-01-30T09:03:00.000+08:00

many thoughts...
i realised how easily i can be affected by someone else's feelings.. tinges of sadness.
perhaps it's because i've experienced it before.
but really, i don't think i can actually compare to her.. she's really strong.
mine only lasted for such a short time, but the time taken to let go is so long.. it was already so painful. can't imagine how she's taking it..
haha... can't imagine i actually comforted her with these words yesterday:
"u don't have to forget, because it's almost impossible. as long as it doesn't affect your studies then it's okay.."

JJ is having love fiesta soon.. of all days, it chose this sat, 3rd feb.
wow, so significant ar.
they do know how to choose, don't they.
wanted so much to go back to have some fun.. but...
i just can't bring myself to go back on that day.
have lotsa fun ppl~
i'll be at home mugging for exams so that i won't be reminded.. of anything... =)

2007-01-12T11:35:00.000+08:00

Go DAREN Go!!! hope to see u at the finals!
haha.. why do revivals always do better than others?
does it mean that one always learn his or her lesson after a failure?
a second chance is always more valuable than the first?
oh whatever.. as long as daren wins, i'll have nothing to say. =)

well, for me though, a second chance is too expensive for me... must definitely get through the first time. and do extremely well too.. not easy, in fact it's beginning to seem like Mission Impossible to me.. but i will try hard. if it's not enough, i'll try harder..
prelims are coming.. so how? die lor...
cannot lor.. u think 100% revivals do better at their second chance than their first chance arh?
NOTHING is 100% in this world.

2007-01-03T15:05:00.000+08:00

holidays are over as quickly as they started... haven't blogged for 2 weeks..
it's a new year.. but nothing has changed.. yup i presume i've become more hardworking, more mature since my birthday, more understanding of some things, more able to tolerate people, ...
seems like everything has changed about me huh.. but i'm rather certain that i still can't put certain facts behind me... so that still hasn't changed..
can't believe i'm still hanging onto it after so long.. can't believe it.. wad a fool i am.

2006-12-17T23:55:00.000+08:00

my birthday!!!!

really enjoyed today... thanks so much, everyone! juan, hwee, yi, hui, ryl, ting, alex, n kings... xie xie ni men!!!

i got my wish finally after waiting for almost 2 yrs.. i.e. to hear my idol, Alex, singing.. so nice.. thanks alex, for coming today. =)

feels like i'm back in the past.. except for one person who didn't remember my bdae at all... haha how i wished he would at least send me an e-card or something.. haha..

2006-11-09T12:27:00.000+08:00

YAY!!! i finally got my new phone! finally finally finally... waited a long time.. it's actually quite a common phone though.. but it's great to me. haha..
anyway, i've lost every single one of my contacts due to the change of phone. stupid me.. saved all my contacts in the phone memory instead of the SIM card.. haha.. so for those of u who see this entry, n who haven't done so, pls do me a favour by sending me an SMS with ur name n hp number yar? many thanks to u.. =)
hav a great weekend ahead ppl~ =D

2006-10-20T10:14:00.000+08:00

went to watch Death Note with lynette, jason, denise, sandy, daniel n sharon last nite.. it was a good movie on the whole.. with the battle of wits between Light Yagami n 'L' as well as the very hilarious God of Death.. haha the God of Death eats nothing but apples. lol n the genius detective 'L' loves sweet snacks, sits in a super weird position on the armchair, n uses his lollipop to stir his coffee. wahaha. but he's a genius lar.. what can i say? haha..
am not exactly in a very good mood today.. don't know why. but somehow i didn't like it when i saw him treating them so well. hope that's not jealousy.. cuz i'm not supposed to like him... but arghh.. i don't know lar... heck.
probably gonna do badly for my maths test today.. should have studied long before today.. but didn't.. somehow.. haha wth..

2006-10-11T11:09:00.000+08:00

had been lost for quite some time yea? yup now i'm back!
haha.. anyway, had a great saturday last weekend despite the haze at PSI 150...
it was a birthday celebration for our dear ryl, though it was a belated one.. haha..
ryl, juan, yi, jun, andrew, allan n chye n i went for a scrumptious lunch at jack's place! after that, we went to play pool.. my favourite game. haha.. nvr tired of playing pool :)
hui n ting joined us shortly n after pool we went to show off our bowling skills.. [correction: i didn't play.] haha..
p.s. allan ar.. that day was my best go at playing pool leh.. not one missed cue... why u still say the way i play is very weird? lol XD
but i left early to support madmad at her first NUS concert.. NUS Wind Symphony.. how i wished i was part of it too. met up with eng to go together.. n wow, was the University Cultural Centre grand! the concert was excellent n the conductor was kinda wacky.. haha but he didn't really spoil the mood so it was okay.. but watching them perform on stage as an orchestra reminded me of the old times.. back in JJC as well as JSS.. why doesn't SIM have a CO?? well, i really miss those times.. really really do..

2006-09-22T08:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAOMA!!!
yay so happie today can finally see u all le!
though it's still not a class gathering, but it's still a girls' day out!
laoma ar.. u must be happy n stay happy always wor.. also must take good care of urself le wor.. though uni life is tough but i know u can do it!
u are very strong de.. JIAYOU!!! =)

2006-09-21T12:02:00.000+08:00

oh my... i'm so enlightened by chee kiang's words..
those lines on my [entrance page], are his advice to me.
suddenly i felt so silly.. i'm actually self-pitying myself. all this while..
was watching the 9pm drama serial [Family Matters], n i suddenly saw myself in Weilun (acted by Terence Cao).. he is always stuck in his past.. he can't forget his childhood memories with Ivy Lee.. or rather he doesn't want to forget.. he refuses to let go.. clinging tightly to his past. i realised how annoying i was.. how stupid i looked to any onlooker..
just move on with life.. facts are things u can't change no matter what. cherish those memories that are worth treasuring n treat teary memories as lessons learnt. n u grow up. there's no need for us to forget anything.. just bury them deep in ur heart. move from the past n cherish the present..
say goodbye to the sad memories as i bury them underneath the wound in my heart. when my heart is finally pieced back together, the scar will make it look so much stronger. n tougher.

2006-09-19T10:23:00.000+08:00

i miss 04S14 so much!!!
when can we have a proper outing???
everybody's so busy with school work n ns...
saw the photo of us celebrating alice's bday that year.. suddenly felt teary.. haha guess i'm just too emotional..
but seeing how united n close we were at that time, i feel so sad. we are not so close anymore.. some friendships don't exist anymore.. some of them out of s'pore.. *sighz*
perhaps as time passes, only memories can last.

2006-09-14T09:10:00.000+08:00

it's been some time since i last updated this blog.. No, it's not dying.. haha :)
i guess i'm quite okay now.. though there's still a tinge of sadness whenever i think about certain memories lost in a phone trade-in last year.. but other than that, i realised that i'm able to smile whenever i am reminded of him. that's the true meaning of love isn't it? if loving someone brings u to tears everytime, then it's a torture to love him. loving someone doesn't mean u hav to keep him by ur side forever, but to let him go.. it's only when he finds happiness will u be happy too... so i've decided to let go. no, i will not erase him n all the memories i hav with him from my mind n heart.. but i will be happy for him as long as he's happy. n when he gets married in the future, i'll be there to wish him happiness. forever. =)

2006-08-31T09:47:00.000+08:00

i wanna thank u girls for being concerned about me for the past week or two.. though i will never get over the whole thing, at least not for the moment, i will still be happy because i have u all. =) thanks everyone.
i will move on.

2006-08-29T08:35:00.000+08:00

sad...

2006-08-25T09:13:00.000+08:00

把爱放开把手放开
如果你的心已不在
把爱放开不在等待
你的温柔是一片空白
把爱放开把心打开
这次我决定走出回忆重来
就让我彻底的伤再彻底的醒过来

this was what i told myself 2 years ago.
i thought it was easy..
i didn't know it would be so difficult.
just like a glass that has been broken, my heart will never be good as new again.
the wound is taking too long a time to heal.. longer than i had expected..

2006-08-11T09:48:00.000+08:00

My soul cries out
For more of You my Lord
My portion and hope
I close my eyes
And feel You near
There's nobody else that can take Your place in my heart

2006-08-01T09:35:00.000+08:00

lalala~

yesterday was my first day officially in SIM.. haha.. to all who hoped that i had fun, it was just a 3 hr lecture session. haha.. so not much fun lar.. but at least i didn't fall asleep. =X

i miss mr ho's lessons sia.. haha my lecturer's handwriting is so much like his.. haha..

oh ya.. staying in the hospital is one valuable experience! i was down with a rather serious allergic reaction on saturday night n the doctor at the A&E department told me to stay in the observation ward just in case anything happens.. so i stayed..
it's just like in the TV dramas..
1) old lady doesn't want to be admitted.. the children trying to persuade her..
2) lady with a fractured arm, having difficulty going to the toilet on her own..
3) class A : single, $200 per day
4) class B1 : 2 patients, $150 per day
5) class B2 : 6 patients, $? per day (i didn't catch that clearly)
6) class C : 9 patients, $25 per day

there are also many teeny - weeny bits that i haven't mention.. haha i wouldn't know how to phrase them in words too.. in any case, it was an interesting n unforgettable experience for me. the cost was also unforgettable... $80 for a night's stay at a ward comparable to a class B2 ward, an ECG (which was kinda unrelevant), an X-ray & some medicine for standby.. the best part was, during my stay in the ward, i wasn't given any medicine n i was up & jumping in the morning! the medicine that was given to me for standby, i have loads of it at home.... i should have just rested at home. -_-'''

2006-07-24T12:01:00.000+08:00

just read hwee's n hui's blog entries.

the things that happened within these few days made me think alot.. i hope i wasn't the cause of your mood swing yesterday, hwee.. alot of memories just flooded my mind since friday.

so many things happened since JC 1..
relationships built n broken..
people drifted apart..

i just feel very sad for some people..

it is usually very hard for people to forget a relationship that easily.. that's my opinion.. after experiencing it myself.. i used to think that BGRs are more valuable than friendships. but friendships, or to put it more exactly, true friendships are much much more valuable n lasting than BGRs.

i just poured out all the troubles i told no one to hui last night.. i felt relieved.. i really had a tough time climbing out of the abyss i had fell so deeply into in JC1.. i often wondered if anyone could ever understand. falling for him was the mistake that i failed to prevent myself from making.. though it brought me happiness, the happiness is so meagre compared to the misery it pushed me into. i realised then, that after two years in JC, the memories that i held dearly to n cherish the most are those with my friends.. my bunch of wonderful friends. i always thought that i would treasure the memories with him the most.. it turned out otherwise. it took me 1 n a half years to let go of everything. painful.. it cost me my academic studies.. terrible price to pay.. sad to say, he probably still has the girl in his mind even till now. haha.. but i still wish him the best in everything he does.

2006-07-19T12:58:00.000+08:00

tired...

everyone has to breakthrough one day..

for me, why not today?

i need strength...

2006-07-17T11:33:00.000+08:00

i believe.

God will always give us exceedingly and abundantly above what we could ever dream of when we ask with a sincere heart.

2006-07-13T11:43:00.000+08:00

WOW... what a wonderful orientation i had yesterday!!!

although it was only a one-day event, n the games are quite lame... it was fun as i had a rather sporting n "on" OG! haha..

SIM is indeed different from other Universities... most ppl i met there are from poly.. haha which is like quite weird for me as i was...different..

but nevertheless, i had fun! yeah.. FUN was the word!

had a minor accident during one of the games though.. crashed into a big guy n a skinny one consecutively, n they were running at top speed! haha... imagine the impact!!! haha.. but it was still an "adventure" i never had before! though it was embarrassing lar... hahaha~

man..... can't wait for school to start! ^_^

2006-06-29T09:13:00.000+08:00

time passes SO quickly...

I still remember that momentary numbness that surrounded my heart when I got my 'A' levels results in March.

That pain that pierced into me when the realisation that I will never make it into a local university with my friends struck me.

The regret that sank in when I thought about the sloppy method of studying I used last year before and during 'A' levels.

The hope I had cradled when I tried applying for NUS, NTU and SMU a few months back..

The hope that had been dashed when I received the three consecutive letters of rejection..

The confidence that is rebuilt when SIM accepted me..

The determination that rose up after the first Academic Excellence sermon preached by Pastor How last weekend...

I will make it this time!!!

I will not allow myself to fail again.

To all my relatives, I'm just a lazy person who cannot do well in anything, much less excel..

My parents are always worried that my laziness will continue till my adulthood..

The old me will, perhaps, continue slacking and heck-caring..

But I'm now a completely changed person.

And trust me, I'm gonna accomplish my dreams and prove myself to all..

It is a difficult path, compared to the slacking one..

But I will press on, and draw my strength from God.

I Will Give My Heart To You
In Everything I Do
Cos You Are The One I'm Living For
I Will Lift My Hands In Praise
Turn You All My Days
Cos You Are The One I'm Living For

2006-06-26T14:47:00.000+08:00

I finally have got a dream..

A vision.

A goal to work towards to.

A desire to serve God and His kingdom.

I want to serve in church more..
I want to join the usher ministry, as well as SOW when it starts it's enrolment and become the First Female Drummer to rise up for God!
One day, I might even want to rise up to be a Connect Group Leader and lead a CG!
Who Knows, I might become a Great Leader in Church!!!

But right now, I want to top my cohort in my first year in SIM and EXCEL in my studies.
This is a golden opportunity given to me by God to shine His Glory.

I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with Your glory
I want to let the whole world know that You're living in me
I want to burn with Your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that Jesus lives in me!

2006-06-21T14:34:00.000+08:00

yoYo!!!
so long nvr update my blog liao.. sorry.. i was busy lately and am still busy in the coming days. well, teaching tuition is rather fun, i should say.. maybe not as tiring as working life lar... that's y is fun mah. haha.. anyway, i should be attending SIM if nothing else goes wrong in the next few months. well, wad can go wrong?? lolz. one more thing, i'm now busy enough to keep me from thinking about certain stuff le.. gd rite? haha at least i'm becoming mature! lol eh now i'm starting to like Qi YuWu alot eh.. he very gd-looking in his cop drama leh.. haha =) haix so long nvr listen to 93.3FM le.. very lost touch with the world liao.. hahaha.. how leh? must catch up soon neh... one more thing to add...maple is fun! well, that's all for now.. till next time!

2006-05-29T17:32:00.000+08:00

RED RAIN ROCKED!!!

2006-05-25T10:56:00.000+08:00

just came back from gentings on tues.. it wasn't exactly very fun lar.. but it is kinda relaxing. =)
kinda sian of gentings already lor.. the next time must go somewhere further lar.. like australia! hahas.. yeah..
received a terribly sad news on tues: mr wong passed away on monday morning. he was such an excellent and dedicated maths teacher in my secondary school, why did such a thing have to happen to him? though he was always shouting at students with disciplinary problems, he was very caring towards everyone in school. he was a great teacher. really. we'll remember him forever.

2006-05-15T10:20:00.000+08:00

We Will Make A Difference

Won't You Lord, take a look at our hands
Everything we have, use it for Your plan
Won't You Lord, take a look at our hearts
Mould it, refine it, as You set us apart

We want to run to the altar
And catch the fire
To stand in the gap
Between the living and the dead
Give us a heart of compassion
For a world without vision
We will make a difference
Bringing hope to our land

Lord, i know that You already have everything planned out carefully right from the start. Everything that's happening around us today, are all part of Your mighty plan. Everyone You put in my life is for a reason.
Jiaxin: to help me renew my commitment to You, to go back to church..
Dawn: to talk to me all the time, boost the confidence in me..
but up till now, i still dunno the reason why God put dee, maril, lisa, yong, lixing, dom in my life for.. i want to know the reason.. haha =)

2006-05-08T09:57:00.000+08:00

2 Corinthians 9:6-7
But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.

wow! what a powerful verse! God loves a CHEERFUL GIVER! =) i've learnt much about giving to God yesterday in service. God doesn't need our money, He doesn't need our finances.. so why do we need to give tithes? tithes are our token of stewardship before God. it is our test as to whether we are faithful and trustworthy stewards before God. just like Adam's token of stewardship is the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and Joseph's token of stewardship is his master's wife, our token of stewardship is the 10% of our monthly income that we give to God. God looks at how we pay our tithes and He will know if we are good stewards. as long as it is possible for God to bring money through us, He will bring money to us! =) so let us all be Cheerful Givers and Faithful Stewards!!!

2006-05-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

wow.. it was such an experience for me last night. i remember being quite stunned when i saw the altar outside the house.. the family is staunched buddhists, i guess. very surprised to see SO many people in the house too.. what a huge family.. the mother wasn't at home at that time so i was rather relieved.. haha.. heard from the student that her mother is quite fierce.. lol that's the only thing i'm worried about. but other than that, everything worked out fine, i suppose. =) the student, kai ting, likes me alot.. in fact, she kept asking me to come 10 times a week to teach her! hahas.. pri 1 girls are like that, i guess. such a pleasant girl.. adorable too! i guess i'm beginning to like teaching. it gives me the satisfaction that i've always wanted.. but of course, i'll have to wait for results.. teaching is just like sowing seeds.. it's the same logic. when u finally waited out the harvest, and when the harvest is bountiful, u reap what u sow and that's happiness! =) what a beautiful job!

2006-05-02T10:05:00.000+08:00

tonight's gonna be the first lesson for my new assignment.. tuition assignment, to be exact..
so scary.. going to the student's house at 7.30pm.. pri 1 student leh.. never teach before pri 1 leh.. haha that's why abit nervous.. *lol*
Father, bless me with confidence and fluency in speaking. give me the knowledge and patience i need to teach the p1 girl... thank You Lord
Amen.
i trust in You, Lord =)

2006-05-01T11:14:00.000+08:00

whee!~
finally back in service yesterday!!! the feeling is just wonderful!
miss all of them so much man... so happy to be back in touch with God and my brothers and sisters in church..
RED RAIN is coming so soon!!! so excited man.. hee.. hope i can get all of my frens to come! u guys are just gonna love it! for those wondering wad i'm talking about, just go check out this fabulous website and u'll know... www.redrain.sg yeah =)
sean sahai is such a great drummer! haha.. my future shifu in drumming.. of cuz not forgetting my favourite drummer: lixing.. cool.. both of them are just extremely cool! =D

2006-04-20T11:42:00.000+08:00

still feeling sick.. for all those who know what i mean, for a few hours u feel so cold, then after that u feel so hot... haiz..
i still remember telling my student just last saturday, " drink more water.. eat more fruits.. cannot fall sick le u noe, exams coming..." end up i ownself fall sick.. sian..
really hope to recover fully by saturday... otherwise i won't be able to turn up for service! been looking forward to sundays every week.. especially this week.. cuz both ting and hui might be coming!!! it's been a tough week.. and i really hope it will be over soon.. =)

2006-04-18T13:38:00.000+08:00

it's raining again...
i want to write a thank you message to everyone who entered my life & stayed in it..

1stly, i want to thank all who prayed for me today.. it's with your help that i recovered so quickly, though not completely...
thank you jiaxin, for persisting in bringing me to Heart of God Church. if it wasn't for ur persistence & determination, i wouldn't have even thought of renewing my commitment to God, n my life would have been so different. thanks mummy, for taking such good care of me in church.
thank you dawn, for keeping me in prayer everyday, for taking care of my sis whenever she attended service, for lending me a listening ear whenever i needed someone, n for liking green! =)
thank you all: yong, dee, jieru, lisa, sam teo, dom, maril, joyce, isabel, liane and those i didn't mention, thank you all for caring for me and showing me concern n warmth ever since i stepped into HOGC.

2ndly, i also want to thank all who have been by my side throughout my JC days...
thank you juan, for all that u have done for me in JC, especially in year 1. if it weren't for u, i wouldn't know wad to do. thanks for being the light at the end of my dark tunnel.
thank you hui, for spending time to accompany me whenever i'm bored or need some time alone.
thank you hweeli, for laming with me all e time..
thank you ting, for showing concern for me all e time.. thanks for being a wonderful big sister to me!
thank you cheekiang, for forgiving me of my mistake n being my gd fren.
thank you junyi, for all the help u gave me when we were in JC..

3rdly, i want to thank my only friends in sec sch...
thank you madmad, for always being there for me throughout the whole 4 yrs in JSS..
thank you eng, for giving me support whenever i was down..
thank you elena, for listening to my non-stop yakking abt guys in e past... X)
thank you kangwei, for being my fren.. sorry for the trouble i caused u for e past 3 yrs...
thank you ee ghim, for the heart-warming christmas card u delivered to my doorstep last yr, for e care n concern u've shown me in sec 3 n 4..

thanks everyone, for making my life so meaningful!

God Bless

2006-04-17T10:49:00.000+08:00

last friday's Easter service was great! i went for follow up in church with jiaxin n dawn.. then followed by the service.. n we actually witnessed the power of God.. a group of us in church gathered together to pray for the heavy rain to stop so that it will not hinder our frens from coming to church. the rain really stopped after some time! isn't that great? so cool.. hahaha then just before service started, i spotted lixing coming in with his frens... at that time, i was thinking..he definitely can't remember my name one..haha but suddenly, he said: "Hello Karen!" oh my, i was shocked lar.. hahaha =) let's see if he still remembers my name next week.... x) then, in service, he was sitting behind us n i realised that he has an 'exactly the same' laughter as my sec sch classmate Ee Ghim! lol really the same version one leh.. he's the second person i know who has that kinda laughter... haha ^_^ the best worship team played that service.. now i know what they all mean by charleston being their best drummer! he really very good leh! hehe but my favourite drummer still remains unchanged.. =)

2006-04-17T10:29:00.000+08:00

Refuge
I sing a love song to You Lord
Everyday, Every night, tell of Your goodness and mercy
Tell the world how You rescued me
Picked me up from sin and shame
Your breath gives me new life

Where can i go from Your presence
Under Your wings i take refuge
Your Spirit lives within my heart
I know i'll never be apart

Everyday i draw closer to You Lord
I long to see Your face
And hide in Your embrace
All my life
Dwelling in Your holy place
My heart o'Lord You've changed
I'll never be the same
I'll never be the same

2006-04-12T10:55:00.000+08:00

Just read eugene's blog... though i had to put up with his non-stop vulgarities, i found one of his entries rather meaningful.. he was like thanking everyone he knows for many reasons.. his jc tutors, his first yr classmates, second yr classmates... and oh my, was i surprised to find my name in it! but soon, after counting the number of names, i realised that he put our whole class in it.. duh.. i should hav known.. i wasn't even on close terms with him! haha -_-'''

Amazing weekend!

2006-04-10T09:20:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhh!!!!!!...... i'm so so soooooo happy! *lol* wahaha.. it was a wonderful, fabulous weekend for me! firstly, my family and i went to my aunt's house to sing karaoke on saturday.. i sang quite alot and displayed my wonderful voice for all my relatives to hear... ^ahem^ x) so happy cuz my favourite shuai ge cousin got to hear it too.. & then he started singing too.. i've nvr heard him sing in my whole life! so cool.. i even sang a song with him!!! the both of us seldom talk but on that day we actually talked quite abit about songs and university stuff!!!... =) overjoyed.. sunday was even more exciting... i went for the 1-3pm service for the very first time and so denise introduced me to kai sheng and esmonde.. ks was too busy at that time to talk to me but esmonde was really hilarious. (how old is he anyway???) then service started with the all wonderful praise and worship.. i just love the songs!!! especially "Always and Forever".. and guess wad... LiXing was playing the drum set!!! cool.. my favourite drummer! =) then sister Evelyn shared her testimonial.. i cried. it impacted me alot.. i have to hurry and bring everyone i noe to Christ.. Pastor Sy Rogers' sermon also impacted me.. i wished that i had attended all of his sermons... x) after service, for once i didn't leave in a hurry... (and i am thankful that i didn't..) wahaha.. cuz somehow, jiaxin, dawn and denise started teasing me about my favourite drummer..(again..) and all of a sudden a thought struck jiaxin.. she pulled me towards him and introduced us. haha n i actually blushed! how embarrassing!.... why on earth did i blush? x)

2006-03-23T08:47:00.000+08:00

it has been a long time since i last updated my blog here.. so today i'm gonna write an extra long entry. =) for a start, let's just say i've been rather busy these days, meddling around with e housework that's to be done in my house... haha i noe that sounds a little funny, but that's wad i've been doing for the past 2 weeks or so. so for all those who have to deal with housework at home, i fully understand wad u're going thru.. x) mopping the floor, washing clothes and hanging them out to dry, washing the dishes, cooking....... everyday's a routine! haix.. but wad to do.. tiring sia.. but luckily for me, i still get to go out with frens once in a while.. to church as well as other places. for example, i went out with my whole class for outing last friday! we went to seoul garden for dinner with our two most beloved teachers: ms yen and mr peh(bai lao shi)! it was fun as many of us turned up... organiser alex, his assistant junyi, as well as others: cheryl, hweehoon, wanyi, lijuan, shuhui, michelle, madelline, qianwen, xueling, kianchye, andrew, kingsley, bangrui, wenxin, zhiwei, tianming and vincent... total headcount: 21! so many... wasn't that exciting?! *lol* at this point i would like to thank one of them specially, cuz i had a bad stomachache that night and if she didn't accompany me i wouldn't noe wad to do... thanks hui! ^^ okay anyways, i recovered pretty fast and was up and jumping the very next day.. in fact i was so okay that i enjoyed myself during the games session in church on sun! it was really fun! service was as gd as everytime and again i learnt something new: with great passion for Christ, we can have great power! =) just last tues, i spent e whole morning at my grandma's house learning to cook a few dishes.. and one of them is my favourite dish: stir-fried black sauce pork and pig's liver! yummy! haha so now i noe how to cook more dishes liao.. my brother wouldn't have to eat steamed fish everyday le.. yeah... i haven't registered for university admission yet.. wonder if i'm gonna make it in time to do so.. haha but now i'm still kinda stuck with the registration for re-take of 'a' levels... >.<

2006-03-06T11:46:00.000+08:00

that day when we got back our results, we also received a booklet from ms yen.. it turned out that she put in lotsa effort to compile memories of 04S14 into a booklet for each of us. so touching leh... she placed lots of photos inside.. n she compiled e things she told us to write about our classmates inside too... wad a wonderful teacher. =)

2006-03-03T11:55:00.000+08:00

well, for all of ya who are a teeny weeny bit worried about me.. i'm alright liao so dun worry k... i get over such things (studies and results) very quickly one! haha =) anyway, went to return the two library bks this morning and borrowed another 4 bks! i myself am kinda surprised cuz i only borrow bks once in a blue moon.. and nobody's gonna believe wad i borrowed! i actually borrowed a bk on thailand's economy, a book on japan's economy and a book on india's economy!... *lol* well, the last book is on managing your money... so it's all economic and financey.. ^^ haix later still must prepare for tmr morning's tuition leh... sianzx >.<> hey by the way, watched 'dream chasers' last night. it was sooooOOOO cute man.. this is the first time i noticed jason tan a.k.a carebear.. cuz he acted very naturally that there was almost no flaws! got potential sia.. he's character in the show is so cute! =)

renz,
signing off

2006-03-02T11:57:00.000+08:00

got my results le.. wah damn sad loR.. really very bad leh... but luckily got abit of improvement from prelims. but looks like i can't really make it to Uni le.. wanted to go SMU one leh... had some plans beforehand.. but it all went up in smoke. then after feeling extremely sad about my results, i stuffed myself with mac filet burger and fries and coke and a strawberry sundae... after tt i felt very satisfied but then another feeling started to set in.. felt absolutely lost.. dunno wad to do after this, dunno where to go... i dun even noe wad to do after i got home. i was scared my parents will probe about my results further.. but i felt quite tired by the time i reached home so it kinda numbed off anything other feeling.. and i learnt something new.. never ever stop urself from crying when u absolutely need to cry... because it is really uncomfortable. so uncomfortable that u will still burst out crying after sometime.. anyway, no point sitting on this problem of mine laR.. just face it and deal with it. tt's the spirit gurl, go for it! there are other things in life apart from studies.. maybe God doesn't think it is gd for me to go to Uni.. maybe God has something better that He wants me to do? haha well.. if that's the way it's gonna be, just let it be!

renz,
signing off

2006-03-02T11:34:00.000+08:00

guess wad? jiaxin asked me if i wanna join the usher ministry yesterday! haha so cool... but i actually turned her down. reason being? i was afraid i cannot commit so much time to church.. haix... cuz in the first place i never thought of joining the usher ministry.. i wanted to join the worship ministry all this while... haha love the drum set! but most imptly, i love GOD! and i want to do something for Him... but 1st i need to wait for the SOW to start a new semester before i can enrol in e percussion class..haix getting impatient! =)
renz,
signing off!

2006-03-02T11:20:00.000+08:00

hey guys!
just created this blog of mine today.. on the memorable 1st of march where we will be getting our 'A' levels results at 1400 hrs. wonder wad my results will be like neh? well.. no matter wad, i just hope it will not be too disappointing... hope i can get an improvement in my econs result most of all... haha and dun wori ppl.. all of u definitely do better than me de wor! jiAyoU and relax man. =)
renz,
signing off